This is perhaps the most important blog I will ever make in my life. We are in the midst of a serious crisis of an unknown magnitude. It affects us all. We need to stand up and say NO MORE!!
Fair warning that the following blog may prove disturbing to some viewers. I won't say I'm sorry because you need to be aware of the very real danger we are all in today. You may be asking yourself "What could it be?" Economic meltdown? Russia attacking? Complete global collapse of the financial markets? Bad hair day? It's much, much worse. Brace yourselves. You may want to either sit down or grab a vodka, cuz it's about to get real ugly up in here.
80s fashion is making a comeback. It's been seen on runways and now, it's available in catalogs. Click here, but only if you have that vodka. Yeah. That's a pair of acid-washed, high-waisted skinny jeans. For sale. TODAY. In a real store. For $70. Or for another fright, click here. Yeah. Those pants are pegged, french-rolled, good goddamn. The sad thing is, the further you go, it just keeps going wrong. And in case you think it's just the swanky places that are infected, better go check out the local Target. Yikes. Really? This could only get worse if they had leg warmers. Oh...wait. They DO!!! Starting to get a little frightened hunh? Yeah. Maybe right now you're thinking...well, they won't bring back the shoes, right? Because those were awful. Keep dreaming, sunshine.
If the hair comes back, I'm leaving.
5 years ago