Smoker? Who Me?

Well, here we go! Monday was my official start date for the smoking down to nothing. I normally smoke about 1 pack a day (20 ciggies) and so Monday was my "full" day. I did pretty good and actually only smoked 16. So yesterday was a 15-smoke-day and today has been a 14-smoke-day. So far so good. I think I'm mostly doing okay. I don't really have a choice as I AM quitting, but I'd like to do it with as little pain as possible. The gradual cessation has been somewhat difficult in that everyday, I freak out a little bit at smoking one less. But I think I've been overall doing well. It's funny because by the end of the day, the last couple of smokes are pretty awful. Saw my GP yesterday and he's happy for me and suggested nicotine gum to help with any cravings I might have. I'm really not having that many and it just passes if I give it some time. I've been trying to hold off for as long as I can before having the smoke, and have done pretty good. I really don't want to get the patch or the gum, because that just means I have to rid myself of the nicotine addiction twice. Once for the smokes and once for the replacement therapies. If I find that it's really getting to hard to continue cutting down, I will do it though. Anything to quit!

I need lots of positive reinforcement right now and Paul (as always) is very helpful. He's my smoke pusher and gives me my allotment of smokes for the day in the morning. When I first told him on Sunday, the first and only thing he said was "Oh...your car will be so much cleaner." Yeah, he's pretty much in the doghouse for that one! Right this second I'm chewing on a bit of a straw that seems to help with the holding off. Technically, I "can" have one, but I like to see how far I can go before I get wonky.

This isn't going to probably be getting any easier anytime soon. So send your happy non-smoker thoughts to me and help me get over this hump! I'm not a person who says she's going to quit all the time so this is the real thing and I am a non-smoker now (okay, technically two weeks from now). I'm hoping once I get down to only five or four a day, I'll just throw in the towel and quit forever. Seems silly to be smoking only a few a day. Might as well go all the way and just stop. So anyway, just thought I'd share this and beg you all for some good wishes and positive thinking. God knows I'm not getting enough at home! I need MORE!!! :)

Love,
B