Wednesday, May 25, 2005

CSI is the devil in disguise

You may ask, hmmm, what do you (as in me) want to do with your life. Or you may not. I'll tell ya anyway. I want to become a forensic scientist working in the serology (ie, DNA) department. You may then ask (as sooo many do), "Oh as in CSI?" And I would wearily reply, "Yes, as in CSI." I hate that show. I case any of you are wondering why I would hate a show that supposedly documents the very life I want to lead in a dramatic way, well, it would be because it's so far removed from reality. Hate to burst the bubble, but it's wrong. Flat out wrong. In the real world, for those who may be interested, the forensic world is made up of specialists. There is a fingerprint person who does nothing all day except analyze fingerprints and sometimes crime scene recovery of fingerprints. There is a serologist who does nothing all day except try to get a trace amount of DNA and amplify it. These specialists may never step foot in a crime scene. There's a forensic entomologist who specializes in insects. There's forensic anthropologists who specialize in bones. I think I've belabored the point enough (the damn horse is dead, quit beating it). In the CSI world, everyone does everything, including the apprehension and interviewing of the bad guys (and gals, equality forever). And, oh boy, they do it fast.

Just to give you perspective, in the state of Kansas, fingerprinting is currently behind by three years. I'll wait a moment to let that sink in. So what that means is you may have a beautiful fingerprint of a murder suspect, but you have to wait for three years to find out who it is. Although in a murder case, they may be able to get some priority and move up the line a bit, there's still a wait. What CSI is doing for the average public who know nothing about how it really works, it's creating an atmosphere of unrealistic expectations. If the real cops can't solve it in a neat week, well, they must be incompetent. And it's also creating an influx of people who think that that's what they want to do. Well, sorry to disappoint kiddies, but it will never happen that way.

This interest has generated many degrees in forensic science which is the flip side of that coin. The bad news is, it's getting harder and harder to get a foot in the door. When I started pursuing my undergrad degree, the requirements were usually only a bachelor's degree for the true entry level position, and gosh and golly, there were a lot of them. By the time I finished my degree, the entire field had changed and now you needed either years of experience or a master's degree. Sigh. My uncle would undoubtedly call this the family curse of bad luck, but since I mock him about that, I better not prescribe to it.

So, basically, there's that rant. I'm done now. It's safe to get back in the water. So, lesson is, I'm returning to school to get a master's in forensic science. I can only hope that the field will not evolve in the next two years and then require me to get a doctoral degree. As this degree does not currently exist in the US, I think my chances are good that I may get my foot in that stubborn damn door.

Classes start in Aug. and while I am nervous (convinced I'll get kicked out cuz I suck), I'm super friggin excited. With one of my required textbooks being "Gunshot Wounds" who wouldn't be excited? I'll try to update everyone on the hella cool things I'll be learning, but may not have time cause I'll be, well, I'll be learning.

For now, it's off to work for me. No rest for the weary.

Love, B

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